And then I was Nothing

Her body moved like that of a dancing cobra. Lithe, taut, and striking. Her feet were feather light. She caressed the earth she walked on with each step. Her gaze was at once infinite and accessible. She smelled like spring. I sat at her feet and took in everything she had to offer. Pearls fell out of her mouth and I picked them up carefully as I could and strung them into a necklace that I carry in my soul pocket to this day. I loved her with all my soul, because she could see my soul. She loved me back because I could see hers. We mirrored each other well, I reflected to her her innocence, she reflected to me my wisdom. She saved me from oblivion, I would have dissolved from grief, drowned by the waters of my own tears. But she found me, and she reached out and grabbed me by the soul and pulled me out of the flood and invited me into her temple. I was shivering when I entered and I was starved. She dried me off and she fed me. She fed my feet first, they’d been living on nothing but air and they needed it most. Then she fed my knees and my hips. She fed my spine, my hands and my shoulders. She fed my neck and my head. When she got my body strong she began to feed my heart. I devoured every morsel she offered and panted for more. She never refused me, she gave and gave and gave more. She had so much to give. And when the heart got strong she began to wine and dine my mind. She got it plump and drunk until it was ripe to burst and to purge itself empty. And when it did, my soul emerged from my fingertips. My soul wasn’t very hungry, but it was ready to dance. And we danced and danced and danced. And she watched and smiled, a smile so soft, so genuine, so knowing, it made me cry. But my tears were joy and it made her laugh and it made me laugh and we laughed together and she welcomed me into her family. And one day when no one was watching the Great Spirit emerged from my depths. By then every part of me from my toes to my fingertips, was strong and empty and ready to serve, ready to be danced. And the great spirit danced me and danced me until I was an eagle and then I was snake and then I was a cloud and then I was the wind and then I was a river and then I was a boy and then I was a mother and then I was a tribe and then I was a continent and then I was the grief of all people and then I was their joy, and then I was their grace and then I was nothing. And I opened my eyes and she was there smiling at me because she knew that she had taught me everything she could teach me. And then she said goodbye with her eyelashes and was gone in a flash. And I miss her forever, but I know where to find her and when I go looking for her I always start at my feet.